Blended

February 23, 2015
Family therapist Waltz (Parenting: Four Patterns in Childrearing) presents 30 essays about blended families from both prominent and lesser-known writers. The stories are organized in a “natural progression,” in five parts: Coming Together, Self-Discovery, Evolution, Acceptance, and Reflections (the last including a poem by prolific author Marge Piercy). Waltz, a stepmother to six of her nine children, shares her own stepfamily experience—including becoming a step-grandparent—in the introduction. The following pieces explore a variety of emotions, conflicts, and family configurations. Hip Mama editor Ariel Gore, in a brief foreword, warns against preconceptions of what a family “should” be, and indeed this collection describes many shapes and possibilities, including two women raising five children from their previous relationships, and parents with children of widely varying ages. A common thread addresses the challenges for stepchildren and stepparents striving to love and accept one another. Columnist Shannon Bardwell, who writes that she initially felt uncomfortable parenting her stepchild, eventually grew into her new role, concluding, “And so I sat tall in the chair of stepmom.” This eclectic collection may particularly appeal to readers in blended families, but others will also find inspiration and food for thought about what family truly means.

March 1, 2015
Writers of all stripes explore the experience of being part of a stepfamily. In the past few decades, a host of sociological studies have sought to make sense of the fracturing of the American marriage. As divorce rates have continued to hover around 50 percent, the studies have suggested something of a moral crisis, even to the most stoic of observers. The rates have decreased somewhat in the new century, but what of all those divorces? However, second and third marriages often succeed, which has led to increasing numbers of steprelationships-and all the ups and downs those relationships imply. In her collection, Waltz offers essays and stories from writers who have found themselves in stepfamilies, whether by their own decisions or by the marriages of others. Many of the pieces highlight the shifting boundaries and structures of "families," including not only blood relatives and steprelatives, but also others who come to be considered "one of us" through selfless actions and commitments. The bonds that can be forged, we are reminded repeatedly, come more through empathy than through sharing parents; it's more about what we do than who we are. The stepfamily can present problems not unfamiliar to blood relations, but with a different angle. The disagreements between two people worked out over time follow a different process than the disagreements that must be faced by a couple for whom the battles have been fought before and the willingness to see differently muted. The challenges can also be unique-e.g., how do we make that leap of faith into new families when our old ones have failed us? Throughout this collection, the contributors-who include Kerry Cohen, James Bernard Frost, Ariel Gore, and Ellen Sussman-provide "a model for creating order and peace out of a tangle of step relationships [or] let us know it isn't always possible." These writings inform, wrestle with, and embrace these questions and more.

May 15, 2015

With over 95 million adults involved in a step relationship of some variety, editor Waltz (Parenting: Four Patterns in Childrearing) taps a niche with this collection of 30 essays that share the highs, lows, fears, and growth that blended families experience over time. Readers may recognize some contributors, such as authors Marge Piercy and Kerry Cohen, but other lesser-known names offer just as much richness and variety of experience. Comprised of five parts--"Coming Together," "Self-Discovery," "Evolution," "Acceptance," and "Reflections"--the book explains feelings about becoming a blended family, which stretch from anticipation to rage to fear. It captures the emotions of children young and grown, in addition to the precarious positions of the stepparents themselves. VERDICT While step relationships can be rife with resentment and animosity, the writers here illustrate how families can grow together and give hope for any reader unsure of how to navigate a new familial structure.

Copyright 2015 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.