The Book of Boundaries

August 29, 2022
Urban (The Whole30 Friends & Family), cofounder of the Whole30 wellness and diet program, provides guidance on setting boundaries in this straightforward volume. She defines boundaries as “clear limits you establish around the ways you allow people to engage with you” in professional, familial, or platonic relationships, and breaks down the “three steps of boundaries”: identifying the need for a boundary, putting it in place, and enforcing it. The author suggests that avoiding someone or feeling anxious after speaking with them might indicate the need for boundaries, and she recounts realizing that she needed limits with her parents after skirting them and their unsolicited coparenting advice. Offering guidance on navigating romantic relationships, Urban urges readers to “say what you mean and trust your partner to do the same” and “stick to one subject during arguments.” To establish boundaries in the workplace, she emphasizes advocating for oneself and asking colleagues with good work-life balance for tips on how to protect personal time. There’s not much that’s groundbreaking, but Urban’s encouraging tone and detailed “scripts,” which provide examples of what one might say in common situations to establish boundaries, make for an empathetic and pragmatic outing. This helpful manual is a boon for those unsure of how to set limits.