Always the Almost

Starred review from December 5, 2022
A trans teen pianist grapples with coming out, competition, and romance in Underhill’s exuberant debut. Sixteen-year-old Miles Jacobson has two goals: beat rival pianist Cameron Hart in the Tri-State Piano Competition, and persuade his football player ex-boyfriend, Shane McIntyre, that he’s still the same person he was before he came out as trans. Despite his enthusiasm regarding his plans, however, he struggles with his brusque piano teacher’s insistence that his playing needs to have a personal meaning if he wants to beat Cameron. His desire to win Shane back is also complicated by growing feelings for Latinx artist Eric Mendez, a newcomer to Miles’s small Wisconsin town who is immediately supportive of Miles’s queer identity. A breakthrough with his concert piece leads to a successful preliminary competition round, but when Miles makes an relationship mistake that jeopardizes his budding courtship with Eric, he struggles to navigate myriad tertiary conflicts while trying to repair the romance. A beginning note promising a book “full of joy” lives up to that assurance; building nuanced characters with relatable problems, high emotional stakes, and earnest first love, Underhill delivers a delightful triumph. Most characters read as white. Ages 12–up. Agent: Patricia Nelson, Marsal Lyon Literary.

December 1, 2022
Sixteen-year-old Miles has two goals for the year: beat his rival at the Tri-State Piano Competition and win back his ex-boyfriend. Miles Jacobson, a White trans boy from Wisconsin, had been dating Shane McIntyre for a year before Miles came out and Shane broke up with him. He believes that if Shane really loved him, his gender shouldn't matter. But Miles' New Year's resolution to win Shane back is complicated by the arrival of Eric Mendez, a cute Latine guy who actually is queer and also likes Miles. As Miles works toward his piano goals with Stefania Smith, his demanding new teacher, a romance blossoms with Eric--even though Miles still has Shane on the brain. Underhill makes it clear in a preface that this is a joyful queer story, and it lives up to that promise. The book captures the delight of being not just accepted, but also understood--as well as the pains of being misunderstood. It celebrates Miles' real triumphs, from finding a suit that fits to mastering a Tchaikovsky concerto. Miles is likable and relatable as he tries to discover who he is on his own terms, not based on what others think of him. The author has chosen to include Miles' birth name prominently; this is uncomfortable but realistic for someone early in his transition. The supporting characters, especially Stefania, are well developed and bring life to Miles' world. A warm, optimistic transgender coming-of-age and queer romance. (author's note) (Romance. 14-18)

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February 1, 2023
Grades 9-12 Miles has always loved (and hated) the piano. But with a high-stakes competition looming and his new teacher asking him to truly own the music he's playing, he's forced to confront who he is when he plays. That question is compounded by even bigger questions hanging over him--like whether his father will ever be completely comfortable seeing him as a guy, or if his ex, the football player Miles is still in love with, will realize that he's the same person he was when he went by another name. Complicating things is a new guy, Eric, who immediately accepts Miles for who he is. In his first novel, Underhill--himself queer and trans--doesn't shy away from tackling the very real struggles and bigotry trans teens face, while also simply letting them be kids in high school, navigating friendships, crushes, and whatever else life throws their way. Always the Almost is a sweet queer love story sure to delight any YA rom-com fan.

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August 4, 2023

Gr 8 Up-A coming-of-age story of lost love, new love, self-love, and pianos. Sixteen-year-old Miles has recently transitioned to his true boy gender. His mom and best friends (and couple) Rachel and Paige welcomed him with open arms to the LGBTQIA+ world, but his ex-boyfriend Shane hasn't, nor has his dad. Miles is in the early stages of figuring out life as a man, but he's sure of one thing: he's gay and still in love with Shane. Nothing seems to come easy, and he always feels like an almost: almost good enough, almost man enough, almost winner at the Tri-State Piano Competition. When new West Coast boy Eric arrives to their small Wisconsin town, Miles starts to see things differently. Being close to what he wants but never quite making it is wearing him down, and now he's going for number one: date Eric, forget about Shane, and beat his piano archnemesis Cameron. Can a new name, a new boyfriend, and a new piano teacher get him out of second place? This story portrays the early stages of transition, and it's refreshing to see a character go through so much unknown while surrounded by support. It's not all peachy, but the character is mainly unscathed throughout the book, and the only troubles are the ones he brings on himself. It's a joy to see the love of music Miles has, and one feels his passion in every passage he's playing piano. VERDICT A beautiful story of love, identity, discovery, and redemption. Recommended for all high school libraries, especially for those serving readers looking for authentic trans voices.-Carol Youssif

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